HOW MANY WOMEN ARE AWARE THEY MAY HAVE TO DEAL WITH PROSTATE CANCER?

If there are men in your life there is a strong possibility you will. The following might be too candid, yet I believe prostate cancer has been a taboo and embarrassing subject for an extremely long time.  Because it is a taboo subject, it is a major killer of men.  It is thought all men will get prostate cancer before they die if the live long enough.   

In June of 2007 a horrible maniacal beast entered my life; its name was prostate cancer.  The abject fear and dread of living the rest of my life incontinent and impotent was very overwhelming.  And as a man and without a support system, I was faced this dark world by myself.  At first, it seemed as if God had had abandoned me to this beast as I struggled with my emotions and “why me” questions. 

Men often seem to go through life alone.  Oh, we have friends, but watch us when we talk to each other.  We stand shoulder to shoulder and rarely look at each other when we talk.  Women look at each other when they talk and their talking is about sharing.  And our conversations; sex and how to get more, cars and who’s is faster, sports and who dropped the catch in the end zone, and we are so lucky now that computers were invented as it gives us a fourth topic of conversation.  Well, I guess there is another topic; the barbeque.  Women need to understand this and urge their husbands to seek medical exams. 

So how does a man solve this dilemma of being alone and worrying about having exams for prostate cancer.  Well I choose a very safe way, not to have physical exams.  My life insurance agent thought we might lower my life insurance rate but I needed a physical.  The insurance company would not lower my rate as my PSA score was too high.  Well I was in luck as the report came to my office so I was just able to throw the report in the trash.  Pretty smart move, huh?  Actually if one were to pause or stop and contemplate my sentence before the last, one might come to the conclusion that I would have rather lived with this ticking cancerous time bomb inside of me instead of being impotent or incontinent for the rest of my life.  That conclusion is; sadly, probably correct.  Probably in less than a year this time bomb would have exploded and I would have faced a horrible death. 

Now one can perhaps truly fathom the depths of my despair caused by fear.  I would have sacrificed my life as to not have to deal with the outcome of the medical destruction of the nerves that are close to the prostate.  I have family and a community that cares for me deeply, yet I was selfish because of my fears.  I know that many other men have these same fears.  Now juxtaposition that with where I am in life after surgery and the elation I feel from being treated by the health care team lead by Dr. Jeffery Yoshida a Urologist in Newport Beach, California.  This exceptional surgeon spared all of the nerves in the removal of the prostate with the very latest in surgery techniques using the da Vinci Robot.  There are about 1200 of these high tech surgical units in the United States.  And yes, Dr. Yoshida sat across the room at a console controlling the movements of the robot that was hovering over my body.  This is such remarkable surgery that almost anything else represents the dark ages.    

Yet, at the time I first saw the high PSA score, I believed I was protecting myself by throwing away the report from a worst fate and that was my goal.  But unfortunately two months later a report went to my home and my wife intercepted the report.  Drats, now what was I to do?    And so my terrible secret was out.  Now what to do?  Where was this journey going to take me?  Would was going to take me to a place where I would feel worthless?  I am very healthy and have missed few days because of sickness in 30 years of being a dentist.  Would I be off from work for months and how would that affect my income?  Would I not even be able to provide for my wife the very basics of an income?  The questions were endless.   

And again, to the most important question facing all men…NONE of the nerves around the prostate were damaged in the slightest.  Prostate surgery is considered major surgery, yet, I did not even feel the need to take something as simple as a Tylenol as I did not have any discomfort after surgery.  I was back to work in two weeks and back on my bicycle in three.  I did not have to give two pints blood as is the norm in conventional prostate surgery, as I lost none.  I have a tiny one inch scar on my stomach.  I can only think I was blessed by God by a great surgeon and the prayers from this community.  I had not been abandoned.  I know such as I way lying on the table in the pre-surgical area when my doctor took my hand and offered a prayer…. 

Earlier I asked, “How does one really does one thank the people for the care I received?”  The answer is simple, be a servant to others facing prostate cancer. 

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